my addiction

i have an addiction.

i'm addicted to vintage maps.

as in ... i couldn't control myself at the antique store and bought this 1960's beauty.

i talked her down to $15 cash. 

as in i ordered a vintage map calendar online and it finally arrived this last week...

it just so happened to arrive on the same day my newest geographical acquisition came home with me from the antique store...

as in there i was holding my globe looking for scissors to open my map calendar...

and could not deny it one second longer.

i am addicted to the world.

the colors.

the shapes. familiar and foreign.

abstract and yet technical.

a utilitarian dream machine.

i dream in maps.

this addiction has a well worn path to my childhood. 

 my first memories came of age out in that big blue sea.

 i was conceived in the bermuda triangle. that's my best party line. but it's also the truth.

also true is that i lived/ spent most of my first five years in the bermuda triangle...

so the knowing i was conceived there is not as creepy as it seems at first.

although it does make a great conversation starter. :)

we had a globe growing up. it's ocean was colored in black and it's spin was a tad off kilter from the years of children loving it. we would take turns closing our eyes and spinning while letting our fingertip traipse the bumps and paper smooth surface of the antiqued continents.i can still hear that swoooooshing sound of my finger searching the paper for the best spot while it frantically spun.  when it would stop you would open your eyes to discover where you would call home. your destiny. 

half the time you were meant to live out in the dark mysterious deep. the other half it was usually some small town in india.

i never remember landing on nebraska.

i think some knowledge you just can't handle until it's time.

l

i vacillate between being painfully aware that i am a fish out of water, an impostor amongst people who for the most part found their footing on farmland while i was getting my sea legs. at other times i feel time has worn me down. infused me with knowledge of the prairie. the beauty of it's vastness. the feel of it's seasons leaning one into another.

a gift really. to learn a place. to know it's people. to carve a piece out of your heart for a place you were quite certain was just a 'layover'.

nebraska will forever be more than just the middle to me.

but i do miss my ocean. i miss my cities. that is the wonder of the game. though your feet can't always follow right away... your imagination can chase your finger as it searches the circumference for a place to land.  

all you need is a beautiful map...

and thanks to my addiction i have plenty of those.

panama canal anyone?? :)