5onF(5)- all by myself

ok. so i had another one of these 5 on fridays basically done. but today.. well today was an intense mothering kind of day. you know the kind that demands your A game and i had maybe a B- to offer.

 isn't it always those days that you have a 'to do' list that the little people decide to release all heck on you and there are tears and pee pee and your organizational all the best intentions project strewn out across the house... and well.. it is at that point i usually give.

nate typically finds me laying in the midst, no idea what's for dinner, nursing one.. giving orders from the couch to please put your underwear on to another and trying my very best to listen to the third about the ever important details of her psycho analysis of 'the lion king'. i have learned i definitely have a point of no return.
too messy.
too loud.
too overwhelming.
wait for back up.
thank goodness for him.. he saves me a lot.. fresh energy, fresh eyes.. he can get me started again in the right direction and then i can keep going. he has my back. i love that man.


i do love that man.. but this friday i am thinking about the
top 5 things i would do ALL BY MYSELF .....
that is to say if i actually had a day all to myself. :)


1.antiquing/junk jaunting in my vintage woody. if i had a vintage woody.. but we have already assumed i have an entire day all by myself. so clearly this is fantasy land. :)
 

2. a day/night in a hotel.. with black out shades.. and a fireplace.. and a hot tub out on that deck.  i would request the first 6 hours to myself and then mr. nate could come join me. you know.. if i'm designing my own day then i am pretty sure i can order people in and out as i wish... and i'm pretty sure mr. nate would like to come on that day over say.. a day antiquing in my woody. ;)

3. a photography conference/party on the beach like the one blue lily does. me wants to do that. in my dreams. and maybe someday in my reality too. :) that is technically more than one day though... but i'm counting it 'cause i can.

4. a beach/pool tropical in the sun with a good book kind of day... i used to have these kind of days all the time. i had no idea how utterly incredible it was to have that kind of day at my finger tips. young and stupid... but really well tanned. :)

this picture is from nate and i's honeymoon in the virgin islands. for some reason.. okay for obvious reasons... i thought it would be funny to surprise him by showing up at a nude beach without him knowing that is what it was. so i was in charge of the map.. and we had to hike through the jungle to get there. he was.. surprised.. and kind of mad.. and clearly uncomfortable..and spent most of his time 'sleeping' face down on his towel.. and did not get nude. well neither did i but i did think it was funny how it was mainly people over 50 and entire nakey families. so this picture is extremely well framed so to not include the nude people... but i have always wondered -- how do the nudists get their vacation pics printed?? aw-kward photo counter moment for sure.

5. girls weekend ..some sort of crazy foreign town.. maybe london? paris? prague? with fun girlfriends and my sister.  dancing.. mopeds..laughing.. maybe some sort of club where you have glowsticks. absolutely. you are never too old for glowsticks.

or maybe you are. scratch the glowsticks. i'll keep the dancing, laughing and mopeds. :)





isn't he cute? get him here
 
okay. so there we have it. a day in the life of my imagination. whew-- you know even just thinking about that has been cathartic. there will be a day when a day to myself is not a ridiculous dream. i know there will be.  seasons of life baby..i am in the thick of it over here. i am hot and heavy in the neediness department. when it starts to feel like so many people need so many things every minute of my live long day ... sometimes i just let the thought hit me --what if they didn't. what if i was useless. what if no one needed anything from me because i had nothing to offer. nothing to pour out. i think of lonely people. of people who have somehow lost their connection to their community, their families... the people who would need them. that's sad. i would rather be stretched in my ability to give than to not have the opportunity to give at all.
 
so as much as i salivate over the idea of a day.. an entire day where no one needs anything... i am thankful for being needed.
in their little world  need=love.
when i think of it like that i am deeply, truly, madly, desperately, urgently, passionately and completely... loved. :)