i have determined to start writing this post and hit publish when i'm done.
period.
no matter who is crying, hungry, needs to be wiped, changed, disciplined or rescued from the top of the playhouse.
my heart has been feeling so reflective lately.
isn't autumn just the saddest and loveliest season?
i always feel so nostalgic in the fall.
it's this beautiful dance towards death and i think it reminds me of how quickly breath leaves our lungs as well.
babies grow up , toddlers lose their lisp, eyes get wrinkles, winter comes and life marches on.
we are all outside right now.. enjoying the patio that we built this summer. each stone holds the sweat and tears of a long hot summer. and today as i sit here with the warm sun pouring through rustling yellow leaves above me the joy is tangible.
flags and streamers are still strewn about from arianna's birthday party, nella is sleeping in her seat , ari is reading nancy drew, grayson and louie are fighting/playing/informing the entire neighborhood of their love/hate relationship at the top of their lungs.
these days are sweet... and fleeting.
sometimes i miss my youth when i didn't know the preciousness of days.
it can feel like a lot of pressure... just to be aware and present.
to see the gifts, to relish the moments and live in today... to suck the marrow out of life like i want to.
the knowing that it goes fast weighs heavy on my heart.
i want to yell less at my kids.
i want to love my husband better.
i want to stare at pretty leaves.
i want to exercise.
i want to think more about deep things.
i want my kitchen to be clean.
i want to figure out what God is trying to teach me.
i want to be open to the possibilities.
i want to get my haircut.
i want to be able to conjure up the smell of a newborn's neck even when i'm old and gray.
i want to be quiet more.
i want to make my own yogurt.
i want my kids to remember me laughing and being silly, not telling them to clean their rooms.
i want to live well.
and i want to hit publish....
is there enough time in life to even do all of these?
i really don't know. possibly not.
but i can at least hit publish. :)
I love everything about this post! Life goes by way too fast, so much still to do. I say make a big deal out of each accomplishment. Hitting publish can seriously take weeks or a month for me because to sit down and gather your thoughts at one time is sometimes, impossible. Enjoy life!!
ReplyDeleteshut up. you read my mind. that's it, i'm moving.
ReplyDeleteAmen!!!!!! When you figure it out......let me know how to do it!
ReplyDeleteI love publish. Your patio is perfection. Your baby is edible. I want everything you want. Except for the hair cut. Miss you, friend.
ReplyDeletelove:) i promise to find babies for you to neck-smell way into our old age:)
ReplyDelete