christmas tree

so... we always go pick out a christmas tree at the christmas tree farm. it has been a tradition since arianna was a baby. a wonderful family runs it and he chops and she makes wreaths and you leave feeling like maybe you actually do live in a norman rockwell painting. last year we had the camry... and a big tree. a REALLY big tree. the man who runs the christmas tree farm actually requested this picture... apparently most people bring an SUV or a pickup or something. wimps.

you should have seen the looks driving this thing through town. the stares, mouths open, pointing.. we were ogled basically. all for the love of our giant tree.

 getting the star on top was quite the feat....it was so fat there was more of  a rounded nub than really a top to put the star on...

 um and me pregnant could barely walk around it. nice. it was like living in a forest.

 look at that giant tree. 7 feet wide people. 7 feet wide. utterly ridiculous.

it took us 2 hours to figure out how to get that tree inside. it wouldn't fit through the door! we forgot that just because we have 10 foot ceilings we don't live in a barn and 3 foot doorways are not actually that big. we finally had to saw off the bottom branches while our children laughed at us and videotaped us huffing and puffing and pushing that sucker into our living room. good stuff.

so THIS year....
we headed out to the christmas tree farm on the most bitter cold day we had had that year. grayson fell asleep on the way out there.. that is always a good sign. :)

this year nate was a man on a mission.. for a skinny tree. he was not leaving with another fat tree. the kids walked around chanting we only want a skinny one. i kept saying "tree.. we only want a skinny TREE guys!"

in the end we got this one. he's small but he's big on personality... no. no we didn't. :)

there were no skinny trees to be had this year so nate broke with tradition and packed us up and we went and bought one from the optimists club at builders warehouse. and you know what? they were cheerful. extra cheerful.

so this has nothing to do with trees.. but we went to target afterwards and i had my video camera since we had been out and about making christmas memories and i captured what it's like taking grayson shopping...he had fallen behind us as per his usual routine. i was watching him to see what he does that is more important than staying with us and preventing a target kidnapping and how long it would take him to notice we were gone. apparently he has some shopping to do...


so we took that extra skinny tree home and after a couple of days of letting her fluff up a bit from being shipped from who knows where... we decorated her. i love that part. when you pull out all the ornaments and go step by step...
first the lights.. see how they weave in and out ...
next the bead garlands..
now the big, heavy ornaments...you have to find a thick branch..
next all your special ones.. find them just the perfect spot...
and then all your funny silly guys... they can go wherever there is room...
and finally the  star... turn the lights off.. get it ready and then-- voila....

 there is magic in this tree. i see it reflected in three little sets of eyes.

everyone was starting to break down and lose it and so i just about nixed the decorating this particular night but arianna totally freaked and said she would do what ever i said just please don't cancel the christmas tree. who can argue with that..? we rallied and just paid for it with meltdowns the next day. but these memories?? they are money in the bank. they sit in these little hearts and minds earning interest for years... i don't mind paying a little meltdown penalty now and again. :)

she thought bringing a tree inside with branches low enough for her to touch was a fantastic idea.

and at night i can see the glow though my door as i'm laying snuggled up in my bed... and it reminds me that the magic of a christmas tree doesn't just live in the heart of children.
it speaks to me of every christmas that lives in my heart. ones where i have been with my family... acting out white christmas with my sister... driving through palm trees dripping in christmas lights. ones when i was small straining my head over the banister trying to steal a peak at the treasure trove lying in wait beneath the boughs. memories of my mom going through those same layers of filling the tree with her special ornaments...small china dolls, pine cones and clip on birds with real feathers... the tree head to toe with memories. a christmas i spent 9 months pregnant with my bubba. a christmas surprise pregnancy announcement that ended in a new years sadness. our advent evenings..all in the light of the christmas tree.
she is an ambassador of peace. you can not help but be shushed. she brings me in and close and quiet and reminds me that christmas is not something you buy or somewhere you go...

christmas lives deep down in your soul..christmas asks the most important questions and gives the most heartbreakingly simple answers. a baby. a simple small baby.

it is the reminder that love comes in humble packages. that if we stop and listen and breathe stillness for a moment... God whispers magic under that tree.